9.15.2014

the power of your mind

-or-
"What the French and the Dog Whisperer have in common."

When I was pregnant, one of my favorite books to read was Bringing Up Bebé by Pamela Druckerman. This was because it offered a laid-back perspective on pregnancy and raising children that most of the other books could not seem to capture. In fact, I'm fairly certain the majority of books aimed at informing expecting parents were written by an evil troll living in a dark cave whose sole purpose is to fear-monger the crap out of everyone about every possible scenario that could go wrong. 

But that's neither here nor there.

Druckerman presents a world where parents are confident and relaxed. They don't feel the need to do mountains of research. They don't feel the need to compare their decisions with others, fretting what others will think. They actually enjoy the process of child bearing and raising their children. 

(Honestly, a ton of the parents I know in the United States are actually a lot like this.)

Anyway, Druckerman posits that the trick to parenting with ease and confidence is to realize that you are there to educate your child, and to set limits and stand firm in them. Among other things. But those were my big take-aways.

From Day 1, you are your child's tour guide and teacher. You are teaching her how to fit into your family. You are showing him how to eat, sleep, and behave in an acceptable manner. You are in essence civilizing a wild beast. 

It's also important to set limits and be consistent with them. When you say no, you mean it every single time. You don't get upset, you don't rise to the child's level of emotion. You model patience for them. My favorite line from the book which gives confidence and authority is, "It's me who decides." Sometimes this phrase is more for the parent than for the child. You have to remind yourself that you are in charge, and you make the decisions. You have faith in yourself as a parent, a teacher, an adult who knows better than a child. When you start doing these things, you almost carry yourself taller.

* * *

A few months ago, Justin and I got sick of our normal rotation on Netflix. We stumbled upon a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, and decided we needed a refresher course on training Pablo. He's been getting pretty rude lately, counter-surfing and begging for Pippa's food. 

We quickly realized that we had started out as great pack leaders when Pablo was a puppy. We trained him, we set boundaries, and we enforced them religiously. But once we got him to the point where we were happy with his training, we grew lax. We let him do things that we used to be strict about, and he started to act out.

He needed  us to be confident pack leaders. He needed those limits and daily training to feel secure. And we were not providing that. 

Lately we have been working on re-training him with calm, assertive energy (a phrase Cesar loves to repeat). He advises you picture yourself as someone powerful you admire (Cleopatra, Gandhi, that teacher you were always scared of, etc.) and project that energy to your dog. 

* * *

So what do the French and the Dog Whisperer have in common? They carry themselves tall, they project confidence, they have faith in what they are saying. One can't help but follow someone with these qualities. It's inspiring to see in others, and energizing to try yourself!

Currently I'm working on applying this principle to all areas of my life. Pippa is developing more each day, and with that growth comes an emergence of her personality. She is so funny and vivacious - but she's also stubborn and willful. I am enjoying the challenge of teacher her patience.

I'm not as much enjoying the challenge of teaching Pablo patience and boundaries. We're getting there.

I'm also applying this concept to my work with Isagenix. I'm working toward some big and exciting goals, and every day I must build my confidence anew that I can and will achieve these goals with God's help, persistent and consistent action, and the support of my close family and friends. I am carrying myself tall, projecting confidence, and having faith in what I am saying and doing. 

* * *

Our minds are a powerful thing. We can use them for good or evil. Positive thoughts attract positive results, while negative thoughts attract negative results. Do you have faith in what you are doing? Are you confidently working toward a goal? How are you using the power of your mind today?

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